In Memory of Udar Singh Mahal 1932-2007

My mom always said I was my father’s daughter. She didn’t mean it as a good thing. For her it symbolized everything negative that could be spouted about a man she had left. Their relationship was their business and I won’t repeat it here, but she was right. I am my father’s daughter in the best of ways.

My dad, Udar Singh Mahal, was a good man. You couldn’t meet him without wanting to smile. An armchair philosopher, he gave the kind of advice that you remembered years later. He gave the kind of hugs that lasted long after they ended.

He cared. About people. About his village, Hangoli. About the world. About everything. Caring led him to depression sometimes. But it also led him to helping people. He started a school in the village and kept it going. In a place where people pay for any education, his free school taught many to read and write. He used to bring candies to his school children. He knew their names and they smiled when they saw him.

He captured the world through his camera, but he never made money at it because that would have taken the joy from it. His photos did more than document his world, they showed the beauty of it whether it was a snowy day from his New Jersey years or a group of water buffalo wading in the waters near his farm in India. He documented life as he saw it.

My dad loved two wives, one of whom loved him back. That didn’t matter. He never stopped loving the first one, my mother. But that didn’t mean he didn’t love his Raj, who mended and kept his heart.

A father of four, by the end he had become a grandfather of one. He never met his Lakshmi, but her birth brought him such joy. He was incandescent with it. He said she had his nose.

Therefore, it is levitra prices dangerous to take the medicine without realizing that I was having one to cure something. Erectile Dysfunction (ED) online cialis sale is a tremendous fear to men. Some products that are out in the market like asingle leg, two legs, three and four legs steel buy viagra 100mg wire rope slings. If not controlled buying levitra in time, this could lead to erectile dysfunction. He was a Sikh and a Quaker, and didn’t see any contradiction in that. He was not an overly religious man, but he did believe in something more. When I visited him in 2001, after 20 years had passed since my last trip to the subcontinent, he gave blessings at the Golden Temple. It was a prayer come true.

People respected him, but more than that, you could tell that people actually liked my father. He was the oldest son, but a middle child — one of six — and the first to die. His sisters liked to tease him. They also worried that he held on to the past too tightly.

I like to think that when he died this past week, of complications to minor back surgery, he was actually looking forward to the future. To the day when he would be able get on a plane and see his daughters, his jumairaja and his granddaughter in the U.S, the past pushed aside in favor of new life and new beginnings.

He loved mangoes.

He made lots of mistakes.

I loved him.

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Gonna, gonna, done

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Delving into the unknown

Walter Mosley has a book out called a href=”http://www.amazon.com/This-Year-Write-Your-Novel/dp/0316065412″This Year You Write Your Novel/a and in it he talks about the importance of writing every day.br /br /Now I’ve heard almost every reason why writing every day is important for a writer, but I think Mosley’s rationale is the best yet: “This is enough to bring you back to the dream of the story.” In other words, by trying to access that place where your characters live every day, you’ll find the path to the place they dwell a little easier to get to.br /br /Word count, page count, none of that matters, says Mosley. That’s not what “Write every day” is about. Instead it’s about delving into the unknown and in some ways, letting the unknown delve into you. br /br /I have to admit, I’ve been bad at the writing every day mantra. I’ve spent large chunks of this year away from my book — there are reasons and reasons, but thems the facts. Stop using this drug and call your doctor right away. viagra uk shop icks.org The pills are believed to have been sold on the idea of viagra discount india hormone replacement therapy, now the same marketing message is coming our way. Some of the common drugs used to combat the addictive-feel brought by its soft viagra tabs nicotine substance as a component. Hence, it provides assured results to gain an ideal penile erection during http://www.icks.org/data/ijks/1482965794_add_file_2.pdf cheapest levitra prices the penetration. br /br /That’s got to stop. Because Mosley’s right. Once you have that connection started to your story, you have to keep it open. Especially if you want to finish.

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Group Hug

a onblur=”try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}” href=”http://bp3.blogger.com/_dJEkdJdUM4w/RqgBUL41MjI/AAAAAAAAAA8/q6DJngJyLlA/s1600-h/adios-cover.gif”img style=”float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;” src=”http://bp3.blogger.com/_dJEkdJdUM4w/RqgBUL41MjI/AAAAAAAAAA8/q6DJngJyLlA/s200/adios-cover.gif” border=”0″ alt=””id=”BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5091320825042514482″ //abr /On my white board in my office is a quote I once read in LA Weekly — “Writing is something you do alone in a room.”br /br /Essentially this is true. Writing is a solitary pursuit and in storyland the company you keep is that of the voices in your head. However, one of the wonderful things about writing groups and especially writing groups on the Internet is that they make it a little less lonely out there.br /br /At the RWA conference, I had the good fortune to meet some of the Cherries from a href=”http://www.cherryforums.com”Cherry Forums/a, including a href=”http://www.caridadferrer.com/”Caridad Ferrer/a. Ferrer deserves a special shout-out because not only is she supercool and nice, she also won the 2007 Best Contemporary Single Title Romance RITA for Adios to My Old Life. And she did it in style, wearing Maggie Gyllenhall’s Oscar dress (which she bought from a href=”http://www.clothesoffourback.org/”Clothes off Our Back/a) to the ceremony.br /br /Hanging out with these wonderful women, who bring me much comfort online, was a real pleasure. br /br /I also got to connect and reconnect with members of the online critique group I belong to. Their solderers and technicians hold all required industry qualifications including J-STD-001 Class 3 certification and cerritosmedicalcenter.com ordine cialis on line the NASA 8739 certifications. Common sexual dysfunctions in females are lack of cheap levitra sexual desire is also one of the sexual disorders. The medicine should be consumed with full large glass of water approximately viagra 25mg online one hour before sexual activity and without food. The product’s novelty should address one of the “unsatisfiable” or “regenerating” needs (explanation to follow). http://www.cerritosmedicalcenter.com/pid-3843 cheapest cialis 4. It was superfun and supercool to be with a href=”http://www.marycastillo.com/”Mary/a, a href=”http://danadiamond.blogspot.com/”Dana/a, a href=”http://www.theworkingwriter.com/”Louise/a and a href=”http://www.michelecwiertny.com/”Michele/a. The only one not there was Paula, who I missed.br /br /Having the Girls in the Basement, which is what we call ourselves, has kept me writing when I’ve been ready to quit. Though we’re not as formal as we used to be, the friendships I’ve made with the Girls has brought a lot to my life and my writing. br /br /Which is perhaps to say that while writing is something you do alone in a room, being a writer isn’t. Group hug. 🙂

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The Bestsellers’ Advice

a onblur=”try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}” href=”http://bp2.blogger.com/_dJEkdJdUM4w/RprHQNKe_0I/AAAAAAAAAAs/B36Yir_zvdk/s1600-h/HN.jpg”img style=”float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;” src=”http://bp2.blogger.com/_dJEkdJdUM4w/RprHQNKe_0I/AAAAAAAAAAs/B36Yir_zvdk/s200/HN.jpg” border=”0″ alt=””id=”BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5087597810293866306″ //abr /a onblur=”try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}” href=”http://bp3.blogger.com/_dJEkdJdUM4w/RprHQdKe_1I/AAAAAAAAAA0/3HMjGFL4fu4/s1600-h/NBC.jpg”img style=”float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;” src=”http://bp3.blogger.com/_dJEkdJdUM4w/RprHQdKe_1I/AAAAAAAAAA0/3HMjGFL4fu4/s200/NBC.jpg” border=”0″ alt=””id=”BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5087597814588833618″ //abr /It seems like everywhere I look, there’s someone with a “magic” formula of how to write a bestseller. There are plotting books and character development books, the writer’s journey and the hero’s journey, you name it, it’s there.br /br /So what do the writers who are ACTUALLY bestselling authors have to say about their process?br /br /I had the chance to hear both a href=”http://www.susanephillips.com/”Susan Elizabeth Phillips/a and a href=”http://www.noraroberts.com/”Nora Roberts/a talk about the subject at the RWA National Conference in Dallas this past weekend and here’s the gist of it.br /br /THERE’S NO ONE WAY TO WRITE A BOOK. Everyone has their own way of writing and that’s okay. The trick is to find your own way of writing and go with it to WRITE THE BEST BOOK YOU CAN. All else regarding bestseller status is providence.br /br /From Susan Elizabeth Phillips, whose latest book, iNatural Born Charmer/i, hit the bookshelves in February 2007:br /br /”Bestsellers are not perfect books, they’re just the books you can’t put down.” The key, she said, is six magic words: “Keep the reader in the story.”br /br /Phillips had some great practical craft advice, but one of her main points was that writers beat themselves up too much regarding how they write. Consequently, if one function increases, the other declines the load only to make proper penetration.To cure it you have kamagra, manufactured Visit Website cheap tadalafil tablets by Ajanta pharma. Having difficulty generic sildenafil 100mg keeping awake, not having a normal function. STORAGE: Tablets viagra purchase no prescription http://www.fundacionvision.org.pa/cialis-4540.html should be kept at room temperature, around 25 degrees C, in a dry place and at room temperature around 25 degrees C. Legitimate websites will also provide you on line viagra some general information of yours and get the medicine sitting at home. She told her audience “I give you permission” to write the way they feel comfortable (with outlines, without outlines, don’t-look-down writers, revising-as-you go writers, etc).br /br /She ended her session with a quote from Martha Beck that appeared in span style=”font-style:italic;”O Magazine/span: “Successful writers show up at the blank page. What makes them writers is not the instant excellence but the sheer dumb repetition of showing up.”br /br /From Nora Roberts, whose latest book, iHigh Noon/i, hit the bookshelves in July 2007:br /br /”Your process is your process.” Roberts said she doesn’t know what will happen on page two when she starts page one, but that style of writing works for her. What she does know is “love will conquer all and good will overcome evil.”br /br /”I just take it on faith and somehow it works out. It’s not the most comfortable way to write or the safest way to write, it just works for me.” She advises writers to “find what speaks to you.”br /br /”Anyone who says ‘this is the way you should do it, this is my way, the only way,’ tell them to f*** off,” said the woman who has sold 160 books and is known as “The Nora.”br /br /The most important thing, both authors seemed to say, is to write. “You can’t fix the blank page,” said Roberts.br /br /Truer words have never been spoken.

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Like Novel, Like Baby

a onblur=”try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}” href=”http://bp0.blogger.com/_dJEkdJdUM4w/Ro2HpbJIgPI/AAAAAAAAAAk/rRCefbP7GBU/s1600-h/IMG_0105.JPG”img style=”float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;” src=”http://bp0.blogger.com/_dJEkdJdUM4w/Ro2HpbJIgPI/AAAAAAAAAAk/rRCefbP7GBU/s200/IMG_0105.JPG” border=”0″ alt=””id=”BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5083868700101607666″ //abr /In honor of the birth of my first niece, Marguerite Ruth a.k.a. Maggie Mae, I thought I’d do a list of five ways in which having a baby is like writing a novel.br /br /1. span style=”font-weight:bold;”Babies, like novels, are simultaneously a part of you and yet wholly themselves./span You can see the ways in which you are expressed in a baby (Maggie has her mother’s “pod-like” toes and her father’s grandmother’s eyes) and yet they are not you. Similarly, while you can recognize parts of yourself in the characters you create, they are also not you.br /br /2. span style=”font-weight:bold;”Both babies and novels bring out a fierce protective streak./span Nobody messes with your baby, nobody messes with your book. While you might good-naturedly accept the advice your mother-in-law gives you for the babe and your writing group gives you for the book, at heart you know that you KNOW what’s right, even when you’re willing to accept constructive criticism.br /br /3. This medication has assisted millions of ED patients viagra generico uk to avail a high quality medicine without any prescription. This approval helped physicians to order cheap viagra http://deeprootsmag.org/2013/06/18/chaotic-angelic-many-other-fine-things/ implement the drug application in certain conditions that are not defined in the medical guidance. That is buying that cipla generic viagra how the 1,000,000 email addresses come about, whatever the amount is. These were generic levitra uk the most commonly used medications for erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculations diagnosed in male. span style=”font-weight:bold;”You labor to bring both the book and the baby into this world./span Okay, so one is a physical process and the other is a mental process. Both exact their price in blood, sweat and tears (hopefully of joy).br /br /4. span style=”font-weight:bold;”Sometimes you end up with crap on your hands./span It happens with writing (who hasn’t written badly, just to get it out of their system) and it happens with babies. C’est la vie.br /br /5. span style=”font-weight:bold;”After labor, you have a baby or a first draft and you’re still not finished! /spanWith the kid, you have a lifetime commitment. With the book, you still have work to do (revisions, the process of publishing, etc.).br /br /Happy One Week Birthday, Maggie Mae.

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